Some snippets

For honey brown

Like kite runner, "for you a million times over". You're my enchanted valley and my lucky four leaf clover. The reason I feel like staying sober. From this cocaine hell into which I always fell. Where the twisted devils offered me a price but I have only my soul to sell. So instead I choose this feeling like a shotgun shell it explodes out through my body at the speed of light. When i ascend into heavenly flight I always keep you in my gentle heart. I know we're off on a bumpy start but all my gloomy doubts just fall apart when your lovely body I chart, in my simple mind I dream of what future is for us to find....



Camorra

Corruption, consumption and exploitation is what they teach
And sadly most of us just sit and nod as they preach
Running this world like the Italian Camorra so when
the aliens arrive you can be sure it's gonna be another
Sodom and Gomorra.
It's gonna rain acid, sulfur and fire as the human race
is about to expire, we've been spending to much and
now the collections will be dire.

So lets all unite right now to fight this greed condition
So that the waves we send into space will be a peace transmission
And not pictures of a human virus killing it self with nuclear fission.
And please don't take this as just another song, take these words into
your heart and let the final revolution start!


Thinking day

I don't by plastic bags at the store
I don't eat McDonalds or drink Coca-Cola anymore
I don't take the elevator to the second floor
And I sure as hell don't buy bananas from distant shore.
That's not because I believe in Al Gore
I think he's just another populist political whore.
It's because how these corporations keep the poor poor.
It's because these multinationals are fueling wars
Playing their own political agenda and breaking laws
All sponsored by a president that's drinking Coors.
While their workers are dying from bullets and infected sores.

I brought the liqour and a drunken attitude.

I'm walking with the sun in my eyes. Thru squinting eyes I see the shadows of house and lamp-post down the hill. Under the blossoming Japanese cherry tree the pavement is rolling by faster and faster. One kick and speed again, one more kick and then down the street.

-Hung over again? He said. The kids on skateboards all whirling about, little adrenaline junkie every single one of them.
-Yeah bra, curse this town! I drink and drink but it never gets any better.
-I know, fuck it bra, lets skate and forget.

A wise word. Complete focus for split seconds makes me forget everything else. I don't know if it's the sound of the wheels lifting of the asphalt or if it's the fricition-less slide over an iron rail that seem to lift me. But the feeling is a clearing of the mind. I can be broke, heartbroken, soulless, sick or just shit out of luck. But when I'm in the second of levitation everything else disapears for a moment and time is in slow-motion. Complete clarity! A kick-flip. Simple as that but hard to find anywhere else.

Why is this my life, is almost everyones question

That same harmonica loops over and and over in my mind. Trying to put the pieces in place.

- It's almost as she is running from me.
- Does it hurt? he said. Looking at me with puzzled eyes. That naive look only as blissful child can give you, my best of friends still posses.

Fuck yeah it hurts was the only thing I could think to reply, but being pierced by that gaze of innocense I could not get myself to be cruel and a slight nod was my only response.

Durig all my raving trips into the unknown of my mind, I've always tried to keep my inner monologue clean and away from the experience. I think that is why Hunter's great mind never collapsed under the immense presure from years and years of contant drug usage nor from the great weight of his own genius.
Lately I'm having trouble just to keep my inner monologue clean from even my most recent of thoughts. It's a downward spiral where only fight och flight is an option.

-It's really unnerving to walk around like a scavagener, I said.
Always preying on the hopes and joys of others. Depending on them to be happy enough to incubate me with some.
-You're out of my reach, she said. Taking long sparkling drags from her cigarett.
-Well if you can't help me, then who can?
-There's never been anyone to help you, only you can help yourself.
And thru the corner of my eye I saw how her long black hair fell down besides her face and that cigarett kept moving back and forth. I kinda knew that this was the end. Then a bird flew into the window and died...

As the red-eyes scavenge on the dawn..

I awoke with a peculiur felling of impending doom. Today might be my last day. What lay luring on me after the sun has risen?
With a heavy heart, I tasted the moring dew, thick in the air. I have to call mother, tell her that I love her. Tell her that she raised me well. Tell her to not fret, not cry, nor mourn my fate.
Maybe this was the last breath of magic in my life I took. I saw it evaporate on the carwindow infront of the orange stripe of dusk in the horizon. The last moring stars might have caught it, keeping the magic there for me 'til the day I die.
The headlights bump across the dark road and I gently pass into the rythmic bumps, so tired right now...

What I.. Nevermind.

Paranoia, slowly advancing on me. Like reading fortunes from a wooden spoon, I couldn't see shit into the future. Very slowly I was decending on teh slippery slope of nervous angst. What had actually changed? I had come to some sort of reasoning with the world. Only I had done so ten years to late. I was in my own way an enlightened retardation. To grasp with the harsh reality of losing the magic in life seemed unfathomable and quite distant.

Like a man laying in wait of an amputation, what would be the last thing to do?
Ofcourse! Wiggle my toe a last time!

Strong out and thin.

Strutting around the living room, the rain tapping on the steel balcony. A friend, my dearest of friends was sitting in the white sofa. His arms, where spred out across the backboard. His head swinging back and forth trying to follow this twisted caracter waltzing around.

-I always for some reason liked to walk barefoot when i can hear the rain against the windows, I said. It's like a challenge to natur, it's raining but I still got dry feet. And the ruff wooden floor feels old against my feet and toes.

The scene was a complete comedy. Walking around with a bohemian hat and peacock feather sticking out. A Blue woolen button-down shirt and a vest that looked like it had been made from kitchen cloths. Rolled up loosly fitting jeans and bare feet. Wearing sunglasses and smoking cigarett's from a long black extender. Clearly wound up on drugs. Nervous twitchings and frantic phasing.

-You know? I always loved Maggie Gyllenhaal. What a beautiful girl! She has the face of an thirties moviestar but still send out so much sex! I mean like she has the kindness of a grandma and the body of a godess.

-What does Maggie Gyllenhal have to do with this? He said. Patiently watching his friend frantic phasing. Wondering what to do next.

-Nothing really. That's the beauty with it, nothing means anything anymore nomore. When did you loose your feeling? That child feeling of that everything is gonna be alright?

-I can't remember, long time ago I guess.

-You see I just lost mine yesterday! I think, ah yes I do think that, ehm, ya.

The LP-player suddenly clicked and the music stopped. The rain seemed to have turned to drissle and damp was forming on the window.

The feeling leaves

And a flock of small birds flew in and out of the sycamore trees.

-I should be leaving now, I said. My bus leaves in ten minutes.

Walking down the staircase to my mothers appartment and breathing in the foggy air I realised what was wrong. Everything in my life had turned very real. I never experienced my surroundings in this way before. As a kid they were mearly there as to humor me and to my usage. This notion was almost unfathomable for me. Where had all the magic gone? When did the world stop to orbit me? And maybe, just maybe I wasn't that special selected by the divine person afterall.

As I passed along the gravel path the crackling sound of small rocks and pebbles almost sickened me. This epiphany I got really did complicate mathers for me. Why can't we always feel like when we were childs?

-Death, she said, is a friend and sleep is deaths brother. Don't fall aslepp yet, I'm still cold and I want you present.

Her long dark hair folded out over my chest as we layed naked in bed. After a little while she was sleeping in that same position. But I could not sleep, I half sat up against the wall smoking endless cigaretts and staring into the ceiling. The feeling from earlier had not parted from me. How will I ever live without that feeling? How can life be of any fun now?
Questions, questions, the only thing running thru my mind was questions. No answers arose.
Ah! This is useless! I gently slided Lucy in the sky with diamonds of my chest and tucked her in the blanket. I pulled up my blue denim jeans and pulled my t-shirt on, gave her a gentle kiss then opened the door and walked out in the early morning.