I died?

I woke up in the dawn inside a giagantic forrest. The trees loomed so high you couldn't see the foilage, just barrely make it out infront of a pearl white sky. The trees where all in a greyish tone and with trunks the size of an embrace. Neatly placed with maybe five-six meters apart. The forrest floor was covered in longaberry bushes as far as I could see. Think elven forrest. And everywhere in the shrubs there were like small beds made of the shrubs them self. Some bed where empty but most of them people where lying, child, man, woman, old and young everywhere. Everyone with a very calm expression dressed in with robes of silk.

As I walked along I could see faces I recognize, my mum, dad, some friends, a girlfriend etc etc. The air was thick of a syrén smell and the most hugmungus feeling of tranquillity fell over me like a blanket being place over me.

Suddenly there was a tap on my should. My dead grandmother stood beind me with a smile and as she huged me it feelt so real I knew I couldn't dream like this, or did I? I couldn't wake up in any case. She looked at me and asked me. What are you doing here child? I replied: Granny I have no idea where I am. Well, she said, you're dead love. This is where you come. Is this heaven? I asked. No child it's not heaven, this is where you wait for the ones you miss. Go and lay down by your love, she will feel your present when you do that.

So I did. I found her and layed down. Just as I was about to touch her face a burning sensation took hold of me and what can only be described as throwed or a launched me away, I could see the inside of my throath burning up, burning from inside. And it all went white again. I woke up without my breath and had to hyperventilate for a couple of minutes. I'm shit scarred of going back to sleep.

All the aborted babies will turn into little Bambies

The beauty queen grasped my heart again, she's squezing it's, gently but firmly.
In this vice yours turely now sit, stand and breath.
-Chinese masters comes between us,
talks in Haiku's, plastic venus.-
Atlas crumbled when I realize that time with her is slipping away fro me.
What ever happened to this. I can't concentrate my frined. It's dancing tube-socks around my head. And the sourmilk is running down my face and hair. Where am I again. Am I living the dream like people with narcoplecy?

Is this to the days that I never lived?
To the revolution that never came?
To the drinks that made me puke?
To the dreams I never understood?
To the cat that never loved me?
To the mother I could never comfort?
To the father I could never confind in?
To my sister I never binded with?
And to the brother that died?

But I'm still breathing.....